Rooms/The Yiddish Cowgirl Suite...

Okay, this is where we really kick it out at Ruby Montana's Coral Sands Inn. The photo of the cowgirl over the bed — is that not Bette Midler's own mother? I guess while Bette was in the bathouse with the fags, momma was at the dude ranch with the nags.

This is a lovely room that simply defies categorization but maybe the best way to put it is East meets West. I mean look at the portraits of six Indian Chiefs from six nations — aren't we in a lakeside cottage in the Adirondacks? Yes! Yes, we are at the lake but whoops! Now we are confronted with cowgirl calendars, the picture of Annie Oakley, the child's rocker, the western lamps, the dioramas, and mon dieu! there is a cowhide toilet seat saying we are out West — way out.

Speaking of dioramas, in this room look for a small picture of a little girl dressed as a cowpoke and sitting atop a pinto pony. She had a dream, as we all do when we are little children romanticizing the big world and as luck and persistence and guts would have it, her dream came true. And you can book a room in it!